Independent Reading Project

Author: Elizabeth Gilbert "Eat, Pray, Love" is an entertaining story of a young women's journey to self realization and to Italy, India, and Indonesia. While reading I have blogged my ideas and thoughts about certain passages in the book. I have written ten posts, where I have extracted deeper meanings, thoughts, and realizations. Each time I read and stumbled upon something interesting or plot developing I stopped to discuss it in my blog. I hope you enjoy my thoughts, and please feel free to express your own opinion by responding to my blogs.

From the author

In the words of Elizabeth Gilbert:

"Eat Pray Love" as a Ladder
"I wrote this book to kind of create a word ladder to pull myself out of a very deep hole," she says. "I don't need that ladder anymore, so it's just sitting there in book form. To think that other people are now using it to tip it up against their dreams and kind of climb on up there is just incredibly touching."

Have a "Stillness & Question" Practice
"I really feel the one non-negotiable thing you need is to find a tiny little corner of your life, of your day, of stillness where you can begin to ask yourself those burning essential questions of your life," she says. " Who am I? Where did I come from? Where am I going? What am I here for?"

Liz's Biggest Piece of Advice Is...
Learn to say no. "Be realistic about what you can and cannot do in one day and one life".

Liz's Definition of God
"The perfection that absorbs. It is the perfectness of the universe which can bring you into that state where you are absorbed in that perfection, then you will know it. … I was absorbed in that perfection for a brief, glorious moment, and I knew something in that."

For visual reference while reading

A picture of David, Elizabeth's soul mate



Place of worship in India



Elizabeth's Guru

15. Ilustration of symbol

chapter 57 page 175

"If faith were rational, it would be-by definition-faith. Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. If we truly knew all the answers in advance as to the meaning of life and the nature of God and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity; it would just be...a prudent insurance policy."

Faith/life is like a series of doorways. You open it, take a step and walk in. If you are in the room and you do not know your place and feel lost you can find security in the idea that there is another door right ahead. It is not certain where that door will lead, but it is certain that the door will open once you turn the knob.

14. Key quote

Chaptet 47 page 150

"You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be."

Constantly the main character, Elizabeth, found herself dreaming of reality instead of living in reality. She dreamed of being with her incompatible soul mate David, getting out of a marriage that she no longer wanted to be in, traveling all around the world to free her mind and find herself again. All the while she could use her backbone and realize she is not supposed to be with David because they made each other terribly miserable despite their undeniable love, she could get a divorce and be true to her heart and wants, and that the world was hers for the exploring and it would be just the thing that would help her gain her strength back.

10. Connection I made

Chapter 48 page 149

"...People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave..."

Everything happens for a reason, and I like to live my life as if everything is on purpose. Recently I have gone through a breakup that was the result of unfortunate circumstances and hidden truths that were there all along. I feel that I stumbled upon this passage because I was supposed to. Weeks of being upset and uncertainty dragged on without emotional relief, but with a simple turn of a page and comprehension of these words that in some other situation would be meaningless and inescapable I was FREED. All this time I thought I was trying to get over a boyfriend, when in actuality I was getting over a soul mate. He was my mirror, the person that smacked me awake and brought down my walls. In doing so he changed me for the better by first changing me for the worst. He came into my life on purpose just as I have come upon this book, to reveal the ME that I had masked over time and to show me that the answers are all around me.

9. Questions I developed while reading

1.Elizabeth mentions that Americans "have an inability to relax into sheer pleasure. Ours is an entertainment-seeking nation, but not necessaily a pleasure-seeking one. Americans spend billions to keep themselves amused with everything from porn to theme parks to wars, but that's not exactly the same thing as quiet enjoyment. Americans work hader and longer and more stressful hours than anyone in the world today" (pg61)
-Why is it that Americans rightfully own the stereotype of being overstressed executives who go on vacation but cannot relax?

2.She brings up the idea that our language often refers to a location. Like when someone says "I've been there," where is there? She explains it by saying, "When you are standing in that forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in the same place, and now have moved on, sometimes this will bring hope" (pg71).
-Time after time we refer to things as "coordinates on a map," can you consider other phrases or situations that we refer to in this way and how it brings meaning to the word?

3. When you're lost in those woods, it sometimes takes you a while to realize that you are lost. For the longest time, you can convince yourself that you've just wandered a few feet off the path, that you'll find your way back to the trailhead any moment now. Then night falls again and again, and you still have no idea where you are, and it's time to admit that you have bewildered yourself so far off the path that you don't even know from which direction the sun rised anymore"(pg48).
-At what point can we realize that we are lost? Are we actually lost or are we found? If we do become lost how do we find our way back?

4."If I love you, I will cary for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts, I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself...until I get so exhausted and depleted..." (pg65).
-Why is it that we bend around backwards for someone when we love them? Shouldn't all the emotions and sacrifices be shared, instead of one person giving themselves up in order to please someone. If we MAKE love work how do we know if it really is love in the first place or just an altered projection of our efforts?

5. "Its(ego)only job is to keep itself in power. Your ego's scared to death cuz it's about to get downsized. You keep up this spiritual path, baby, and that bad boys days are numbered. Pretty soon your ego will be out of work, and your heart'll be making all the decisions"(pg140).
-Elizabeth was having trouble meditaing because her ego kept getting in the way of her heart(where medication comes from). This brings fourth some questions:
-It seems as if our ego gets in the way of our heart, how do we stop that from happening? How do we know which one is in control of our actions and thoughts? When and in what situatin do we use our heart, our ego, or should they work together?

8. Deeper message, theme, lesson of a chapter

Chapter 18 page 52-53

Over a period of months Elizabeth had become engrossed in depression and alienated from herself by loneliness. She kept all of her thoughts and needs inside and did not consider what she actually wanted. Instead, she told herself that things were the way they were supposed to be, she even put down herself in the mean time. She tried to understand why it is people want to have children, and considered her opposition to having children as abnormal and persuaded herself that she wanted them, when truthfully that was a complete lie to herself. She tried to be a good wife to her husband even though she wanted nothing more than to be free to live her own life, detached and free. For her it was a constant battle between what she wanted and what she thought she wanted. Her self confidence was shallow, and her uncertainty about herself caused her to live untruthfully against herself.

One night when she was drowning in depression she looked to her private notebook where she was able to find "emergency help." She wrote, "I need your help." A response arose in her own writing, "I'm right here, what can I do for you?" That night on her bathroom floor she found help, and with that "most secret conversation" she found her answers.

This passage holds a deeper meaning not only for Elizabeth, but for us readers. Elizabeth though she did not have any control of her life, and she found hope in a journal. In actuality Elizabeth was receiving answers from herself, from her soul, and all the while she "though" the answers were coming from a greater force (something of a God). The truth is that the answers are always there, they lie within us. We know what we want and what we deserve, and what it comes down to is if we are willing to listen to those desires and interests...because they are what we truthfully want and deserve. It is not until we realize this that we can find stability within our self and within our thougths/decisions.

5. A passage that moved me

chapter 58 page 177
"Destiny, I feel is also a relationship-a play between divine grace and willful self-effort. Half of it is absolutely in your hands, and your actions will show measurable consequence. Man is neither entirely a puppet of the gods, nor is he entirely the captain of his own destiny; he's a little of both. We gallop through our lives like circus performers balancing on two speeding side-by-side horses- one foot is on the horse called "fate," the other on the horse called "free will." And the question you have to ask every day is-which horse do I need to steer with concentrated effort?"

This quotation sums up several ideas expressed and explored within this book. FAITH, HOPE, SEARCH FOR SELF, UNDERSTANDING, DESTINY, FREE WILL, LOVE, EAT, and PRAY. It goes further to suggest that life is one relationship after another. Each one grows from one another and supports one another. Even when we feel like we have lost all control of our lives, we must realize that it is "absolutely" in our hands. As long as we realize that our choices have a consequence our destiny is up to us. We can choose to make the most of it, or we can let it play out as it is suppose to. We are influenced by everything around us, making us puppets at times, but our hand is what makes the puppet talk. Fate is what we choose it to be, we can give and take what has been there all along, or we can make it our own (redefine it). Each day is a new day, a new opportunity, and chance to be and do whatever you feel your destiny should entail.

Elizabeth had redefined her destiny for years, assuming her destiny instead of allowing it to play out. There was a moment in time when she realized how much she lived as a puppet, and that moment dispersed when she found herself. She did this on her trips through Italy, India, and Indonesia. She also made her transition when she realized what she really wanted in life (David, her husband, faith). She grabbed the reigns.

4. Something that surprised me

Chapter 54 page 168

"I jumped out of my window...I let go and dropped backward maybe twelve of fifteen feet through the dark air to the concrete sidewalk below, hitting something on the way down that peeled a long strip of skin off my right shin, but I didn't care."

Elizabeth was locked in her room, and when she finally awoke at 4:15a.m., and hour and fifteen minutes late to the morning prayer, the Gurugita, she decided to jump out of her window so she would not miss the ceremony. This was a surprise to me, I found it strange that making the morning prayer was worth possibly breaking something. I get that she has chosen to immerse herself in prayer during her stay in India, but this seems a bit idiotic and careless. It is spiritually uplifting that she is willing to do anything for her new found beliefs, but she sat through the prayers with a bleeding leg and did not even notice, or realize that she just jumped out of a window! Yes her spirituality could save her soul, but not protect her from injuring herself as she fell from her bedroom window.

3. What I noticed about the character.

Chapter 48 page 150-151

"Lemme tell you something, Groceries(David's nickname for her)- you got some serious control issues...Listen, you're a powerful woman and you're used to getting what you want out of life, and you didn't get what you wanted ..it's got you all jammed up" (pg150-151).

First hearing this accusation said about her, Elizabeth became angered and denies it. Then after some consideration she confirms it as truth. She also thought that it was surprising that he noticed because she figured she hid it with perfection. Elizabeth in Davids words is a "control freak." This name sums her up, and explains just why things in her life worked out the way they did.

Her marriage:She did not want to be with her husband, love did not bind them together but intrest did. She did in actuallity get what most women want-> a caring and loyal husband, financial stability, and a beautiful home. Although, Elizabeth is not like most women, she is independent and does not find stability in others. Money is unimportant to her, and a home allows for settling down. She was not ready to settle down, in her mind there was too much to see and explore. She wanted to be in control.

Her relationship with David: We all seem to want what we cannot have. She loved David and he loved her, that was absolute. Despite love they did not connect in other ways, they even made each other miserable. She wanted to make it work with him, she tried to control the situation like usual, to make it work. You cannot control a relationship, love is true, and everything else that comes with it should be too. She wanted to control it.

Her inability to meditate/clear her mind: Our minds are terribly strong. Being able to control our minds takes practice and skill even. In truth controlling our minds is extremely hard. She tried very hard to do so, and the harder she tried the stronger her mind became. She wanted to control it.

"nothing pisses off a control freak more than life not goin' her way" (pg151).

2.A chapter that puzzled me

Chapter 33 page 103

In this chapter Elizabeth tries to understand Rome after seeing a high class glamorous woman strutting her stuff down the streets of Italy. She speaks with her friend Giulio and says "Rome cannot be her city and my city, too." Giulio replies with "Maybe you and Rome just have different words" (pg 103). He goes on to say that there is one word for every city, every person, every situation. The thought of describing a complex thing in a single word puzzled me. How could a city in its entirety be summed up in one word? Rome they explained to be SEX, New York to be ACHIEVE, Los Angeles to be SUCCEED, and Elizabeth's word to be SEEK. When I reflected upon this chapter I tried to label myself in one word. I found it to be an impossible task.

1. What I liked in the chapter

Chapter 5 page 21

"Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story. It all begins with the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never even dared to admit that you wanted...Soon you start craving that intense attention, with the hungry obsession of any junkie. When the drug is withheld, you promptly turn sick, crazy and depleted. Next stage finds you skinny and shaking in a corner certain only that you would steel your soul to rob your neighbors just to have that thing even one more time" (pg21).

I found this chapter to be very interesting, funny is more like it because describing and comparing love as a drug addiction(something negative)to love(something positive) seemed so strange but when it comes down to it, it makes perfect sense. Love is like a drug. You sneak around, putting yourself on the line to get it, giving up your time and money. Once you have a taste of the drug you become overwhelmed with new and uncertain feelings. You have to try it again because those new feelings are so strong and exciting, and once you experience something better then what you had/felt before you don't want to go back. Love is not free.